Women have caused all our problems (Ross56 writes on Adam & Eve)

There was Adam and God hanging around in the garden. Adam was ok, but God seemed obsessed. Well, I think it would have appeared that way to Adam anyway. You see God kept parading animal after animal in front of Adam, and asking him the same question every time, “what will you name this one Adam”? I can picture Adam sitting there saying, “Elephant, donkey, rat, mozzie”, with an ever diminishing sense of purpose.

Why was God doing this to the guy? I reckon it was for stirring the embers of deep longings for a partner, within Adam. Because you see, God kept asking him if he wanted this creature as a partner. God, being God, would have known that a numbat, wombat, or a tortoise was not going to cut the mustard.

When Adam was about ready to climb the walls, God did his thing, bida-boom bida-bam! And there before Adam was Eve. Right here I reckon Adam had a slow smile growing wide on his face, while his eye and chin quivered.

You know the story; God laid down the rules especially the one about the tree in the middle of the garden, and Adam and Eve got down to business, so to speak.

Eve stops and looks at the tree in question. There was Satan, watching the woman, and with one lie from his mouth, he changes all relationships. I’m going to paraphrase here, but in essence Satan said, "why do you want anxiety, through trusting in god for your yearnings? If you …. (Fill in the space) you will not need God. Just eat the apple.” Go back and look at the space that you need to fill in.

For me; at times through my life I could have put many things in there. Things like, having a powerful job, or a powerful car, a good looking girl friend, or wife, my children being the best mannered, or the best at what they do. One that used to be quite dominant in my life was a false belief that if everyone thought well of me, or liked me, the world would become survivable. This goal is fading as I grow. Fill the space with what ever is true for you.

Eve was being tempted with the concept of total independence from god. She must have thought that this sounds like a great idea, so she ate the apple. Then it happened …. Nothing, not a thing happened, zip, nada, zero. The birds kept singing, and the bee’s kept buzzing, and the sky did not fall in. Why? I promise that the answer will come soon, but not yet. If you have worked out the answer, just humour me and read on, OK!

Now back with Adam, he probably was sitting there doing his Adam stuff. I can see him in my mind now, building something. In his shed, with a beer in his hand, whilst listening to classic rock and roll on the CD player, or maybe that’s myself I’m thinking of. At any rate, Eve rocks up, and tells Adam to eat some apple, because she has done so, and nothing happened. Also giving him the spiel about not needing to rely on the Lord for life. “Yes dear,” would have sprung out from his mouth, because, like myself, this makes it sound like you have been listening, when in-fact you have been concentrating on trying to get this no good, rotten stinking thing-a-majig to fit into this other dam thing in your hand.

“Eat the apple...!” hits his ears with an increased volume that snaps him into the present. He didn’t think they should. She repeated the order, so to keep the peace he takes it from her hand and eats it. Right then, right there, that’s when the goulash hit the fan.

It had very little to do with the apple. A unique relationship had been broken, and another had been poisoned. As before, God being God, he would have been absolutely, utterly aware of the events that had transpired, yet as was his habit, he would stroll through the garden, enjoying the warmth of the amber sky and the cool of the enveloping dusk.

He came to the two in question, and asked them about the obvious change in routine. No more eagerness to stroll together taking in the beauty between and around them. Moreover, they had covered their wobbly bits, and were hiding in the shadows, filled with anxiety, shame, and fear. Even though he new why, God asked for the story so they could hear their responses, and therefore understand the coming ramifications.

“She did it,” screams Adam. There was his defence for all to examine, in essence, this being a type of victim event. Eve had her turn, and you guessed it, another victim, she blamed Satan.