Keith asks the Big Question!

My depression really kicked in recently (although thankfully I wasn't suicidal) and for a while there I almost lost my faith altogether. It's very annoying as although you can point to triggers there seems to be little relation to what's happening in my life and how I actually feel. My level of contentment seems to wax and wane of its own accord. It's particularly distressing as for a while there I almost completely lost my pastoral heart which is one of my chief gifts.

Theologically, my complaints centred on God's and particularly the Holy Spirit's seeming powerlessness: First of all in my own life - I seem to be at the mercy of my brain chemistry - but also in the lives of so many Christians who seem content to hold political views and pursue life styles that I think are so immature and antithetical to the Gospel.

My question is: If the Holy Spirit is there to lead us into all truth, then why the hell doesn't she?

Why are there so many Christians fixated in an adolescent Christianity that leads them to be so arrogant and judgemental? Why am I still so arrogant and judgemental? How can Peter Costello- happy to make the rich more comfortable and use racism as a political tool- and Tim Costello- living a sacrificial life and helping the most poor of the world and happy to have a hijab wearing Muslim girl volunteer in his Christian organisation- both claim to be active Christians???

They can't both be right. It perplexes and distresses me.